Newcastle United hires dog guard to do household chores for millionaire stars they hope to attract

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NEWCASTLE United is hiring a dog sitter to do household chores for the millionaire stars they hope to attract.

The Premier League club’s player liaison officer will settle banking facilities, search for accommodation and help buy flash cars for arrivals.

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Newcastle United hires dog guard to do household chores for millionaire stars they hope to attract

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The Magpies, the richest outfit in the world since their Saudi-backed takeover in October, will even get the new staff member to help religious stars find a place of worship.

Newcastle, who are currently second in the Premier League table, are expected to spend money in this month’s transfer window to make sure they don’t drop.

England full-back Kieran Trippier, 31, is set to sign around £ 12million from Atletico Madrid.

A job posting from St James’ Park says the employee “will serve as the first team arrival point of contact to support their transition.”

They want someone to “organize house tours, take care of rentals, open bank accounts, and organize insurance and utilities.”

The candidate must also “maintain a good understanding of different faiths and religions”.

Any candidate must be educated to at least the GCSE level and maintain “confidentiality at all times” while attending all home games.

Newcastle fan Shaun Smith said: “The team has been s *** all season and we are stuck in the relegation zone so it sticks in the throat to think the team is being awarded a lackey.

“But we’re desperate to attract superstars – so maybe sending a handyman will do.”

Eddie Howe was announced as Newcastle's new manager last year

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Eddie Howe was announced as Newcastle’s new manager last year
Kieran Trippier arrives at Newcastle training ground for medical before Atletico Madrid’s £ 12million transfer
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