Not sharing household chores could ruin your relationship

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From meeting regularly to making time for important conversations, there are a number of things you and your partner can do together to build a strong foundation for your relationship. . But it’s also important to write down the things you do not share, because doing some activities separately could spell trouble for your future. In fact, a new study has found that if you and your partner do anything together, you could ruin your relationship. Read on to find out if this is a problem you need to fix.

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When it comes to doing household chores, the majority of couples think it’s important to divide the chores fairly, even if that’s not what ultimately happens. Roborocks, a home robotics company, commissioned a survey in February 2022 where they asked 2,000 American adults who live with a significant other to get a sense of what people feel on the distribution of household chores.

According to the survey, 53% of respondents said they considered equal job responsibility to be just as important to the health of their relationship as their sex life. And 50% said they thought not helping with household chores was just as bad or worse than cheating on your partner. But at the end of the day, not everyone puts their money where their mouth is. Only 9% of respondents said their partner always completed their shared chores, while 34% of couples said they believed their partner had deliberately done the chores wrong to avoid having to do them in the future .

Photo of a young woman doing laundry at home
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You might want to rethink the idea of ​​dividing tasks completely, even if you split them 50/50. A new study published on April 27 in the journal Sex roles found that sharing household chores can be much more important in a relationship than to share these tasks. Author of the study Daniel CarlsonPhD, Associate Professor in the Department of Family and Consumer Studies at the University of Utah, analyzed the 1990s US National Family and Household Survey and the Marital and Marital Relations Survey from 2006 and found trends related to division of household chores and relationship satisfaction. .

According to the study, the number of equally shared tasks played a huge role in positive relationships. Couples who shared no chores—and instead took on specific tasks—were not as satisfied with their relationship as couples who shared at least three tasks. “Number of equally shared tasks matters a lot to the quality of relationships between men and women,” Carlson wrote in a brief for the study. “Indeed, among recent cohorts, there is evidence to suggest that this matters as much, if not more, than each partner’s overall proportion of household chores.

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young adult man wearing casual outfit and brown apron cleaning house with baby in hands, looking at camera with sad upset facial expression.
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In an interview with Weather magazine, Carlson said that one of “the biggest predictors of satisfactionIn a relationship, it’s the sense of fairness that both people have. “Those who shared all the tasks equally, 99% said their relationship was fair,” he noted. no chores together? Only half of them thought their relationship was fair.”

The difference in perceived fairness between sharing and sharing tasks is largely the result of how difficult or enjoyable people find certain tasks. “Some are nicer than others. Some are more isolating than others. If I have to go shopping, I can get out of the house, I can interact with people, potentially, instead of sitting on my knees, cleaning the toilet,” Carlson explained.

So even if you both spend the same amount of time on chores or do the same number of chores, the split might not be the same. To feel fair. “I could have the easy three, the most fun ones, and you could have the hardest three. So even if we sort of split it on the surface, ultimately those tasks aren’t equivalent,” Carlson said. Weather. In his memoir, he wrote that “sharing all the tasks also removes these sources of resentment or misunderstanding, ensuring that each partner feels their arrangement is fair and satisfying.”

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However, it’s not all about what you or your partner thinks is right. Carlson also said Weather that sharing household chores also helps couples feel a sense of collaboration and unity in a relationship, even if they don’t do the chores at the same time. According to Carlson, her additional analyzes revealed that couples who share tasks tend to have better communication skills.

“I could do laundry on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you could do laundry on Mondays and Wednesdays, but it takes coordination. It takes communication,” he said. “Good, high-quality relationships are built on good communication between partners, a sense of unity, and mutual decision-making.”

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